What we say to ourselves is often an echo of what other people said to us that we accepted as true. I’ve accepted a whole bunch of things over the years, some of which has served me well, like ‘I’m sporty” and ‘if she can learn to be good at that I can too’.
My tactic for letting go of the unhelpful ones
1) start learning to be a better way that I consciously choose for myself
2) look for evidence that the old message is false.
We only took these things on because at some level we believed them. Maybe because there was evidence of our stumbling’s when we were younger or just because someone powerful said so and nothing at the time contradicted them.
It is harder to let go of a belief unless you have some evidence that it is wrong. To get this evidence sometimes you need to learn new skills first. You say to yourself ‘I cannot sing’. Get singing lessons. Record yourself at the beginning and again after 10 lessons. Then you can hear just how much you can sing and decide how much better at it you wish to become.
Choose who you want to be and start learning to be her.