Emotional Engagement during an Appraisal


Everything you have to give is about reducing the risk of the selling process and thus you need to be alleviating their fear response at every opportunity.

You have to say these things out loud, as early in the walk-through as possible, so you can build on them later.

Let me give you an example of the opening words of the Doctor who my girlfriend recommended after I became pregnant with my first child. His words are etched in my mind as if they occurred this morning.

Imagine this. I’m young and excited but totally out of my depth. How does this work? How does one choose an obstetrician? Do I really need to spend tens of thousands of dollars on a private one? What do I do if I don’t like him?

I walk through the door of his office. He is standing near his desk and he reaches out to shake my hand. He puts his left hand over our clasped hands then says:

“Welcome. My name is Mark. I’m so honored to have the opportunity to assist you with the birth of your child. I understand this is a really important choice you are making, so before we talk about you I’d like to take just a moment to explain my medical credentials so you can be sure I’m the person you want to help you with this.”

Then in just a few sentences he explained where he studied and what additional credentials and specialized experience he had (advisory specialist for….). He ended his introduction by answering my greatest and as yet unspoken fears. What happens if I go into labor and he is not able to attend or I have an emergency while away from Sydney?

I never again questioned whether he was the best Doctor for me, worth every cent and I continue to this day, some 13 years later, to recommend him to other women.

Everything that follows is for the sale of a family home.

You have been invited into their most personal space (their home) to assist them in one of the most important financial and life changing transactions, possibly the most important of their lives.

In life, regardless of their other assets (investment properties, business etc) or situation no one takes selling an asset as large as their home lightly. Some people will only sell a family home once. Usually it is being sold for a very powerful reason. You can be certain it is a powerful reason because it takes a lot of energy to drive big changes. You can also be sure nothing this big is without fear.

Regardless of why they are selling, the process is risky (fear). They may be selling to realize a dream (a happy reason to sell) or for a scary reason (release the capital for a business venture, very high risk life decision) or the reason can involve huge amounts of pain and conflict (like a divorce or financial disaster). Just the uncertainty of how long it will take and what price they can achieve creates fear.

So you can be confident there will be very powerful emotions at play when people get to the point of selling their home. You may never know what the emotions are and what has generated them. But you will need to match their emotional intensity (even if you see no sign of it) from the first second you enter their home for the appraisal ‘walk-through’.

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